Deepening conversations to support change and wellbeing

The #1 strategy to address the pandemic of mental health issues is to create safe spaces and open-up the dialogue as per Global Watch, Tendance internationales en santé mentale et bien-être (March 2022 report). 

We all need to feel heard, seen, and accepted. 

We need safe spaces to face challenges and the difficult emotions and discomfort they create. 

Safe spaces don’t just happen. They have to be intentionally created.

They have to be facilitated by an experienced practitioner that can hold the space for others until the group can do it by itself. 

In these spaces, participants are invited to be present (body, heart and mind) and listen to one another with empathy. 

By suspending judgment and adopting an attitude of curiosity for what is experienced and shared.  They build the trust needed to truly face what is with compassion. They explore what they need to let go of, what could be, and what wants to emerge with courage.

Open, honest and respectful conversations are also a great way to support change in your organization. 

As mentioned by Julie Hodge in her article:

“Creating change using dialogue is about changing the conversations that shape everyday thinking and actions.” 

We make sense of the world through conversations with others. When we disconnect from others, we disconnect from our shared reality.

We need to go beyond reaching out and connecting on the surface.

As per the Center for Creative Leadership: 

“The effectiveness of an organization’s key business priorities like growth, innovation, and customer service are also constrained or amplified by the quality of the conversations. That’s why equipping your people to hold more effective, powerful conversations is a business imperative.”

If we want change, we need to change how we think and make sense of the world and we do this through our conversations.

We do this through open, empathic dialogue.

What is dialogue?

Dialogue is a kind of conversation that allows for collective inquiry into the patterns or forces (such as beliefs, assumptions) that guide how people think and act. 

Dialogue is a process that has the potential to create deeper understanding, greater clarity, open-up more options, and produce coordinated action.

Dialogue circles can be hosted for different group sizes representing the diversity of the organization.

Ideally, dialogues circles are held at a regular interval over an extended period. This allows for the participants to learn the skills of deep listening and generative dialogue. They also grow in their understanding of themselves and the environment they evolve in. 

Overtime, new insights and solutions emerge and participants start to shift the inner place from which they operate. This leads to deep and lasting improvements to how they think and act in alignment with their core values and aspirations.

What are the principles guiding dialogue?

An open and empathic dialogue leading to collective inquiry and insights is based on a few guiding principles that are the shared responsibility of participants in the dialogue.

Adhering to these principles or “holding conditions” allow the group to build psychological safety and together, expose and explore their underlying beliefs and assumptions.

This is not a complete guide, but I trust it will help you get a sense of how dialogue differs from day-to-day conversations, discussions and debate.

Shared intention

The group must have a general common goal although largely defined and without specific agenda, allowing for specific topics to emerge in the circle.

For example, are you getting together to explore the source of the increase levels of mental health issues? To explore better ways to collaborate and co-create innovative solutions? To support a need for organizational transformation for which the future state and path to get there is unclear?

Presence

For participants to feel safe to open-up and challenge their assumptions and beliefs, they must feel safe in the presence of others. We send signals of safety to others by being present (mind, heart and body) and by paying attention to what is happening in the moment.

Deep listening

Dialogue encourages us to listen to what is said and not said. To pay attention to thoughts being shared but also to what is happening between interventions, emotions, body reactions, intuition. We welcome the diversity of interventions: intellectual, emotional, visual, gestures. 

Suspending judgment

When listening or speaking, noticing thoughts that come up without letting ourselves be carried away by them. Rather, we hold them as if in front of us to be witnessed with curiosity. This allows us to truly listen to the other person’s perspective while also becoming aware of our own judgment and reaction to what is being shared.

Slowing down and welcoming silence

Allowing for natural silence to happen between interventions. This also includes resisting the urge to defend our perspective and only express oneself when we feel the intervention is meaningful for the collective.

Balancing advocacy and inquiry

Participants seek to expose their assumptions and beliefs as much as possible by balancing authentic expression of perspectives and respectfully questioning them.

Why you may need an experienced facilitator

Although dialogue is a very powerful transformational tool and a great way to build psychological safety and foster trust and belonging, it is not a skill that most of us have learned. It requires us to go deeper. It requires another level of listening as illustrated in the figure below.

It is best learned through experience with the support of an experienced facilitator, just like we learn meditation or yoga with someone guiding us through our practice. 

This is one thing that we do at Alive Aware Daring: we facilitate dialogues for leaders, managers and their teams to explore their wellness challenges and desires and create momentum towards a culture of well-being. We also facilitate dialogues to support managers and their teams going through change, creating the safe space they need to make sense of their new and changing reality, together.

If you would like to explore further how to use dialogue to support organizational change  and wellbeing, book a call with us.