3 strategies and 9 tactics to better recover from stressful events and deal with life demands

If you have never experienced burnout, you probably know someone who has. This is not counting those who are on the verge of burnout, feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed out by all the demands and uncertainty of our lives. Our surge capacity is depleted. Many articles and books are tackling the subject, suggesting ways to burnout-proof your work-life balance. In this post, I will give you strategies and tactics to recover from stress and daily demands that are taxing your mental and emotional energy. These tips will help you avoid burnout, feel empowered and fulfilled, and have energy left to embrace life outside work.

What is burnout?

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. As per Emily and Amelia Nagoski, burnout is also experienced as a decrease sense of accomplishment and depersonalization. What if you are ‘just’ tired and feeling low at the end of the day or finding it difficult to manage your emotions? Some people have shared with me that since the beginning of pandemic, they don't move as much as before and don’t take enough breaks during the day. The usual distractions at the office or excuses to get up and walk are gone. With in-person social events also cancelled, they end-up working non-stop and longer hours, feeling empty at the end of the day. Fatigue is pilling up day after day.

Stress and high demands on our physical and mental capacity without proper recovery reduce our performance, negatively impact our health and well-being, and may lead to chronic inflammation and diseases. Depleted employees also impact organizational performance. As reported in a Gallup series on burnout, “when employees are running low on high-performance fuel, so are your organization's decision-making, customer service, quality control and innovation engines.”

Mental and emotional capacity

Mental and emotional work demands a lot of ourselves and our energy. But we are built to handle so much more than we think we can. The problem is that we are always on, running on high gear and without much control of our minds. We experience a lot of emotions, but we don't take time to feel and process them. We experience high stress, but don’t fully return to deep state of calm and relaxation. Instead, we keep replaying the stressful event in our heads all night.

By being overloaded, stressed, or tired all the time, our prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain that allows us to act consciously, is not functioning at its best. We end-up in reactive mode, incapable of creating that gap between our mental and emotional triggers and our decisions and actions. We can’t think with perspective. In other words, stress is a state of myopia: it pushes us to narrowly focus on ourselves and the immediate treat or the task at hand. “We need to calm ourselves to allow the information to come in, to truly listen and hear” says Dr Huberman. When we are always on stress mode, we become defensive, loosing our capacity to connect, create and act with courage. We are not the master of our actions and decisions anymore. “To be well is not to live in a state of perpetual safety and calm, but to move fluidly from a state of adversity, risk, adventure or excitement, back to safety and calm, and out again. Stress is not bad for you. Being stuck is bad for you.” (Emily and Amelia Nagoski)

We need to change our mindset about rest and recovery

Resting is not a luxury; it is a necessity. Dr Huberman says that we grow, learn, create new neuronal connection during deep rest, including sleep and other deeply resting states of mind. Robin Sharma and many other leadership and personal development experts have highlighted the importance of rest and recovery for high performance, creativity, and productivity. From a scientific point of view, rest and recovery allows us to balance the sympathetic nervous response (fight-or-flight response) with the parasympathetic response (rest-and-digest mode). It allows us to balance the exhale with the inhale (Brene Brown, Braving the Wilderness).

How do we avoid burnout?

By managing our response to stress, including planning recovery from demanding and stressful events. We can’t always avoid “stressors”. However, we can prepare for facing daily stressors and life demands and be intentional with our recovery from them. As Brene Brown says in Daring Leadership, “we have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play. We have to let go of exhaustion, busyness, and productivity as status symbols and measures of self-worth.” Daring Leaders should model and support rest, play and recovery.

I invite you to think of your recovery from the demands of your life and daily stressors like an athlete does for her physical training and performance. Athletes who perform at a high level and succeed at sustaining their practice, don't just train hard all the time. They are disciplined with their sleep, rest, and recovery routines. They are intentional with their food and water consumption and how and with whom they spend their time outside of training. Athletes who don’t put enough emphasis on proper rest and recovery often ends up with injuries and overtraining syndrome which is similar to burnout and chronic or adrenal fatigue syndrome: the body has had enough and decides to shut down, forcing you to rest. Like athletes, we need to plan our work and other difficult projects and tasks to allow for regular and adequate rest and recovery. This is even more important when your life is challenging on many fronts at the same time (family, career, relationships, finance, health, etc.).

3 strategies for optimal energy

If you want to stay healthy and thrive, apply these 3 strategies to better recover from and prepare for stressful events and demands of your daily life:

1. Release stress from your body: After a stressful event or demanding activity, complete the stress cycle by eliminating the stress from your body and intentionally returning to a calm state of mind.

2. Recharge your batteries: Stressful events and difficult tasks and conversations demand a lot of energy. You need to recharge afterward to avoid feeling completely depleted.

3. Invest your energy wisely: We perform better when we are at our peak. Learn to invest your peak energy in what matters to you and bring most value to others.

9 tactics to recover like an athlete

You know how to spend your energy, but are you good at generating and maintaining it? I share below 9 tactics to help you release, recharge and invest your energy using the high performing athlete’s approach to illustrate them.

1. Active recovery: shake it off

Move to release the adrenaline, cortisol, and other toxins out of your body. Go for a brisk walk, a bike ride, a swim, or a hike. You can also dance, play in the park with your kids or literally shake your body or punch a sandbag to release the tension if stress is really high (such as after a sudden rush of adrenaline caused by someone who almost killed you when you were trying to cross the road). By moving your body at low to moderate intensity for 15-30 minutes minimum, you help your system release stress and emotional tension. Robin Sharma promotes the second wind workout at the end of the workday. Emily and Amelia Nagoski encourage us to complete the stress cycle with the top strategy being physical activity. High performing athletes know that the best way to recover from high intensity training is by doing low to moderate activity that gets your heart pump slightly faster and your blood flowing throughout your body. This active recovery helps eliminate the leftover lactic acid and stress hormones. I personally love to go a walk in nature mid-day or at the end of the day. As a runner, I also make it a point to go for a walk, bike ride or play in the park with my son later in the day when I did my long or hard runs.

2. Water: flush it out

Drink enough water (for most of us that means lots more than we do) to get things flowing in your body and help your natural detox system do its job. Keep a glass or bottle filled with water close to you when you work to remind you to drink. Bring a water bottle with you when you go out for many hours at the time. How do you know if you drink enough? The key indicator is the color of your urine: the darker it is, the more you need to drink. But feeling mildly hungry (such as craving sugar), being constipated, and experiencing fatigue are also signs that you are not drinking enough. Your cells also need water to generate energy. Your blood is made mostly of water: if you want to efficiently fuel your cells with the nutrients and oxygen they need, you need to have enough water available to keep your blood fluid and flowing easily. Athletes know that proper hydration is key to sustain performance. You may also want to “wash it off” by going for a plunge or taking a shower or a bath. There is nothing better than a shower after a good run outside or a bath at the end of demanding day to feel good and relaxed.

3. Restful activities: press reset

Restful activities include yoga, meditation, grounding, draw mandalas, deep breathing, nature walk. Think of activities that help you slow down, be present, feel yourself in your body (reconnect to your senses), and disconnect from your monkey mind (being unsettled, restless, or confused). For most of us with busy professional and personal lives, our sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight mode) is always on, which results in cortisol level raising and remaining high in our body. This creates a ripple negative effect from chronic inflammation to weight gain, hormone imbalances, reduced libido, chronic illnesses, and anxiety and depression. To avoid these issues, we need to intentionally switch our gear from this hyper or stress state to a relax state by activating the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest mode). “Recent studies are showing that taking time for silence restores the nervous system, helps sustain energy, and conditions our minds to be more adaptive and responsive to the complex environments in which so many of us now live, work, and lead.” (HRB article The Busier You Are, the More You Need Quiet Time). Have you noticed how “lazy” athletes can look like outside of training and practice? Nobody would dare to tell them they don’t deserve it (except maybe David Goggins). They need the rest to be ready to go all in again the next day. And so do you!

4. Sleep: repair and grow

There has been many articles and studies on sleep and its importance. Enough quality sleep is essential for learning, cell repair, and growth. The key here is consistency. Go to bed around the same time every night following a wind down routine and ensure you get in enough hours of deep sleep. If you have trouble sleeping, Dr Huberman suggest we expose yourself to daylight early in the day and avoid bright light in the evening. Getting natural light exposure soon after wake up in the morning “triggers a neural circuit that controls the timing of the hormones cortisol and melatonin, which affect sleep.” (Standford Medicine article).The key here is going outside early and exposing our eyes (no sunglasses) to daylight. In the evening, dim your overhead lights, place lamps physically low, and avoid blue light. These tactics will align your internal clock and “encourage the correct level of melatonin, the sleep-inducing hormone.” High performing athletes are very disciplined with their sleep. The harder they train, the more they need their deep and regenerative sleep. Follow their advice and make sure to have enough quality sleep when you need it the most, i.e. before and after demanding and stressful days.

5. Nutrient-rich food: refuel and heal

Some food weights you down, other will boost you up. Some food nourishes your body and soul, other add stress and toxins and makes you feel sluggish and depressed. When you are dealing with a lot in your life, the last thing you should do is adding stress to your body by taking in food that is difficult to digest and creates inflammation. This includes processed food, sugar, white bread, processed oil, and high animal fat meals. I know! Isn’t it what we crave when we are stressed and tired? Personally, I crave potato chips when I am tired at the end of a stressful day or when in the middle of high volume of training. To help you recover and feel good after your efforts and stressful events, focus on antioxidant food, herbs, and supplements: dark leafy greens, turmeric, blueberries, etc. Antioxidants will help you reduce inflammation and boost your immune system. You also want to take in enough proteins and good fats. Proteins will provide the building blocks your body needs to repair. Good fats help you sustain your energy levels, but also supports healthy hormonal production. Good fat, especially omega-3’s are also good for your brain health. Sugar and caffeine tend to produce an energy spike that then drop drastically leaving you feeling shaky, weak, and irritable. Finally, focus on nutrients not on counting calories. Seek natural, nutrient-rich food. If your body has all the nutrients it needs, you are going to perform at your best and crave less of the high calorie, low-nutrient food. Athletes who perform at a high level are very meticulous with their food for a reason. They need to balance their intake of energy and nutrients to support their performance during training and events and optimal recovery.

6. Soul and heart nourishment: connect and uplift

Have you noticed that when you do something you really love or spend quality time with a loved one, your energy and wellbeing improves suddenly? When you make time to nourish your heart and soul, immerse yourself in something uplifting, it is like you tap into an unlimited source of energy. You were exhausted the minute before and now, you feel lighter, wanting to dance and embrace life. Part of recharging your batteries included nourishing your heart and soul. Spend time being present for loved ones, give a hug, cheer someone, play, laugh, express yourself creatively, dream and envision. Celebrate small wins and progress towards your goals. Make room for what you are passionate about, what gives you energy. Reconnect to your body, your heart and soul, others, and nature. Show yourself and others compassion, help someone, and express gratitude. If it is true that high level athletes are in love with the process (they love what they do) and the pain that it brings, in face of challenges and fatigue, they also need to dig into other sources of energy than the physical. They work on their vision, they tap into their purpose, celebrate progress, cheer others, have fun, and make time for their loved ones. They bond with and support their teammates. They pour their heart and soul into their work, but they also have practices to ensure they stay balanced and connected to their heart and soul.

7. Working in cycles: switch it up

Have you ever seen an athlete train non-stop for 8-10 hours, 5-days or more in a row? Why then do we think we can work hard and with max intensity for 40+ hours over 5 consecutive days? As Robin Sharma says regarding his Twin Cycle of Performance (5 am Club) model: “This model explains how superproducers alternate periods of intense creativity and productivity with cycles of recovery, rest and pure fun. In so doing, they stay at their best—full of energy and fire towards their mighty mission.” We need to strike a balance between deep focus and high performance and deep relaxation and recovery (living fully on or fully off). Robin recommends that you work for 5 deep focus hours per day, then move, play, disconnect. “Anything longer yields diminishing returns” (The Victory over Difficulty Report). He also suggests that we pause for a few minutes every 90 minutes. That we work in pulse, not linear. Think of your work and recovery in daily, weekly, monthly, and annual cycles. Ensures you have rest periods during your days, days off during the week, a week off or with reduced intensity and stress per month, and one month off per year. Yes, you should take your vacation, but also implement a balanced rhythm of work and rest throughout the year. An athlete’s training program is built around these cycles to optimize preparation and performance for key events while allowing for proper recovery to avoid injuries, integrate learnings, support growth, and ensure sustainability of the practice. Best athletes master the discipline of training hard and then resting fully. They avoid “junk miles” which are these runs that are neither hard enough to build capacity, nor easy enough to recover.

8. Prioritizing: tackle it first

Do your best work when you are at your best. Pay attention to your circadian rhythm and align your most demanding work with your peak energy and focus. For most of us, this would be earlier in the day and late afternoon. Our energy tends to take a dip mid-day and again in the few hours before bed. Make sure you also prioritized what matters to you earlier in the day when you still have energy and willpower. Don’t wait until you are done with everything else and you are exhausted. By doing your most important work first, you will get a dopamine boost that will reenergize you (it feels really good when you accomplish something meaningful or can cross one important task from your to-do list). If you postpone the most important, you have to carry that burden with you until you do it. This will drain your energy.

9. Setting boundaries: say no

If your plate is full and you don’t have time for the regular rest and recovery periods, than it won’t help you manage your overall energy. You have heard this before, but I will say it again: you need to learn to say no. This could mean saying no to opportunities so that you focus on your most important priority (be careful about the Shiny Object Syndrome!). You may have to say no to helping everyone right now if not urgent to prioritize your own important work and self-care first. It could mean addressing your FOMO (Fear of missing out), by making clear choices and letting go of the things you chose not to do. As tempting is can be for a high level athlete to accept invitation to go out drinking at night or do something fun but risky a few days before an important event, they are clear on their choices and feel confident to say no. They choose to honor their priority and are ok with no doing certain things. It is a choice that frees you up and with it, frees your energy. Being unclear and having too much on our plate that are not aligned with our values and priorities can be draining.

Be proactive and build your capacity

Recovery is more than an after-fact activity. You can be proactive and plan for anticipated energy demand and stressful events. Ensure you are in optimal physical and mental fitness and can remain mentally and emotional agile by resting, fueling, and timing your best work and scheduling time for release and recharge after.

The more you use up your energy, the more disciplined you must be about recovery. And like for physical performance, the more your train yourself to do mentally and emotionally hard things and allow for proper recovery, the stronger and more capable you become. More on how to better harness stress and discomfort for performance and well-being in future posts.

Now what?

Pick one small action you can integrate into your routine now. Even better than doing it alone, make it a family challenge or a team challenge at work. “The cure for burnout isn’t and can’t be self-care, it has to be all of us caring for each other” (Emily and Amelia Nagoski). Remember that anything new and unfamiliar is hard and uncomfortable at first. Celebrate your small wins and progress to help you stick to it. Practice for 21 days before you assess if this works for you. If it works, keep doing it and add in another practice for optimal energy and performance.