Master Your Energy - Part 4 (Emotional Energy)

In this post, we will explore the emotional energy pillar which represents the quality of your energy. By quality, I mean the positive or negative impact of your emotions on your physiological processes, conscious experience, and well-being. Emotions can uplift you or drag you down, allow ease in your body or make it feel heavy, and make your life seems expansive and flowing or difficult and limited.

Relationship of emotions to your physical and mental health

Your physical, mental, and emotional health and energy are closely related. When you are physically exhausted, your ability to self-regulate your emotions diminishes and you become more reactive. As per Tony Schwartz, “without intermittent recovery, we’re not physiologically capable of sustaining highly positive emotions for long periods. Confronted with relentless demands and unexpected challenges, people tend to slip into negative emotions—the fight-or-flight mode—often multiple times in a day. They become irritable and impatient, or anxious and insecure. Such states of mind drain people’s energy and cause friction in their relationships. Fight-or-flight emotions also make it impossible to think clearly, logically, and reflectively.” If you are proactive in renewing your physical energy regularly and care for your physical health, you will be better able to sustain positive emotions and you will think more clearly.

Emotions can also negatively impact your physical health, especially if those emotions are negatives and related to feeling stressed. “Recurring feelings of worry, anxiety, anger, judgment, resentment, impatience, overwhelm and self-doubt often consume a large part of our energy and dull our day-to-day life experiences.” (HeartMath Institute or HMI) Too much stress without proper recovery weakens your immune system and can lead to chronic illnesses like diabetes and heart disease as well as mental illnesses such as depression. Intense positive emotions also require a lot of energy, but usually live us feeling tired, but good about our experience.

We know that good feelings are associated with better performance, both physical and mental. Positive emotions have been shown to be “critical in decision-making” and supporting “cognitive functions such as attention, perception and memory as well as higher-order thought processes.” (HMI). When you feel valued and appreciated and you trust the people around you (such as your colleagues), you feel safe and thus, you can direct your energy towards your tasks and perform better. When you feel unsafe, undervalued, and disconnected, the fear system kicks in, using your energy to protect you. “Our core emotional need is to feel secure. […] You need to become aware of how much energy you spend worrying about, or trying to restore, or asserting your value.” (T. Schwartz)

In a nutshell, your emotions and feelings influence your physical and mental health. Your physical health and condition influence your emotional state and ability to self-regulate your emotions. Your thoughts, beliefs and state of mind also influence your emotional experience. Your emotions “really capture the brain-body relationship” (Dr Huberman)

Your emotions are triggered

What are emotions anyways and what is their role? “Emotions are chemicals released in response to our interpretation of a specific trigger. […] They last for about six seconds.” (sixseconds) They are messengers between your body and your mind. They are “e-motion”, energy in motion. Emotions are different from feelings which “happen as we begin to integrate the emotion, to think about it.” Feelings are fueled by a mix of emotions and last longer. Mood is more generalized and influenced by many factors. It is your habitual state of mind or the general feelings you are experiencing over a certain length of time.

I like to compare emotions, feelings, and mood, to the weather. Emotions are weather events such as rain, wind, temperature, etc. Feelings are your interpretation of the weather based on your experience of these events: the temperature feels cold or warm depending on how you feel and what you are used to; a sunny day without wind seems nice for going to the beech but would be disappointing to the sailor. Mood is like the climate: you can expect certain weather patterns to happen based on where you live, your habits and your past experience. Your mind also expects to experience certain feelings more than others. If the weather (your experience) is in line with our expectations for the climate (your general mood) at this time of the year, it feels comfortable or familiar. If it is not expected and out of the ordinary, you experience discomfort.

So, back to emotions. Emotions are triggered by your nervous system assessment of various inputs. These inputs are assessed against a reference pattern, which represents the climate in the above analogy or your overall mood and state of being. “Past experience builds within us a set of familiar patterns that are established and maintained in the neural networks. Inputs to the brain from both the external and internal environments contribute to the maintenance of these patterns. […] When an external or internal input is sufficiently different from the familiar reference pattern, this "mismatch" or departure from the familiar underlies the generation of emotions.” (HMI)

In other words, when the demand does not match your (perceived) capacity or the input does not match your internal state, emotions are triggered (Dr Huberman). You feel safe and comfortable when things are familiar and coherent, whether they are good or not for you. When they are not familiar or incoherent with your current state, past experience, thinking patterns, values or beliefs, you feel discomfort and you may experience “feelings we label as "negative," such as anger, anxiety and frustration.” (HMI)

From this perspective, all emotions provide valuable information on your alignment with your internal and external environment. They also provide indications whether you are in alignment with your values, beliefs and thinking patterns. “Depending on the degree of mismatch, it requires either an internal adjustment (self-regulation) or an outward behavioral action to re-establish a match and feeling of comfort.” If the stimulus or event (input) is recurrent, you adapt, and a new reference pattern is established.

All of this means that emotions cannot be controlled: they are triggered by your nervous system. But you can control what you do with them. You can influence your feelings and overall mood. And the more positive feelings you experience, the more positive your average state of being is, the more comfortable it would be to experience joy, love and abundance, and the better your health, performance and wellbeing will be.

Tip #1 - A first step in developing emotional health is to acknowledge, sense, and pay attention to your emotions. All your emotions. Emotions just happen and are part of your experience. Be curious about them. What are they telling you?

Emotional frequency and your average vibration level

What we consider positive emotions brings a sense of coherence and ease. “Positive emotions not only "feel better," they actually tend to increase synchronization of the body’s systems, thereby enhancing energy and enabling us to function with greater efficiency and effectiveness.” (HMI). You can feel your energy expanding or contracting based on the emotional frequency you hold. When you shift your internal state towards increased coherence or positive emotional states, your energy expands, and this facilitates “higher cognitive functioning, intuitive access and increased emotional regulation”.

Fear however lowers your frequency and contracts your energy. Experiencing fear for a few seconds is normal. But if you hold fear in your body, turn it into feelings of anxiety, despair, or blame, it will affect how you experience reality, pull you away from your inner wisdom, and reduce your ability for critical thinking and creativity. Fear and related negative feelings drain your batteries. However, the experience of fear will not negatively impact your overall vibe if you notice it rising in your body and choose to let it pass through your body without holding on to it.

Although all emotions should be welcome for the information they provide, cultivating positive emotional state is better for your health and energy. When you cultivate positive emotions, you raise your energy and associated vibration. “When you are vibrating at a higher level, you feel lighter, happier, and more at ease, whereas lower vibrations feel heavy, dark, and confused.” The widely known Map of Consciousness developed by David R. Hawkins (M.D., Ph.D., an internationally renowned spiritual teacher, psychiatrist, physician, researcher) presents a diagram of vibrational states of being that matches the vibrational frequency of its corresponding emotion. “To live in flow, in love, and in peace, you need to raise your vibration to match that of which you wish to attract.” (Thrive Global)

Because your nervous system inputs are assessed against a reference pattern, it is possible that negative emotions or low vibe energy around you feel comfortable. It depends on your average state of being or resonating level and specific state of being in the moment. As you work on raising your frequency, it is important to learn to self-regulate your emotions if you want to improve your average energy levels and overall well-being.

Tip #2 - A second step in taking care of the quality of your energy is to recognize your current state of being or the feelings you are nourishing in any given situation. Are you operating from a place of worry, shame or blame? Or are you consciously making choices and acting from a place of courage, optimism, love or joy?

Self-regulation, resilience and emotional agility

Self-regulation of your emotions means you don’t let your emotions rule you. When you self-regulate, it impacts the flow of information to your brain and thus, help you “modulate these internal and external inputs and determine what gets processed at higher levels” (HMI). Emotions are signposts, not directive as would say Susan David. As mentioned before, what you experience may signal something is not familiar, but it does not mean it is not important and worthwhile doing or experiencing. It does not either mean the activity or thoughts are not healthy. If you want more positive energy, you need to take control of how you respond to your emotions. “When we can intervene in the moment to interrupt the body’s normal stress response and initiate a shift towards a state of increased coherence, we experience feelings of satisfaction and gratification. When we fail to effectively self-regulate and regain control, we feel frustration, impatience, anxiety, overwhelm, hopelessness or depressions.” (HMI)

It is easier to self-regulate when we are physically and mentally well, i.e. in a state of coherence. “It is clear that responding in healthy and effective ways to ongoing inner and outer demands and circumstances, such as daily life situations, depends to a great extent on the synchronization, sensitivity and stability of our physiological systems.” (HMI)

The HeartMath Institute research “indicates that people can achieve extended periods of physiological coherence by actively self-generating positive emotions.” You can also bring more coherence using other approaches that will improve your Heart Rate Variability (HRV) and activate the parasympathetic nervous system such as relaxing breathing methods and activities generating release of serotonin (the hormone that make you feel safe and content). HRV is the measure of the variation in time between each heartbeat which is controlled by your autonomic nervous system. Higher HRV levels are associated with different emotional state or heart frequency. These inputs from the heart frequency to the brain “are important contributors in determining emotional experience and in establishing the set point to which the current inputs are compared.” (HMI)

If being fit supports faster and better physical recovery, being resilient means that we are better at recovering from difficult emotions and stress. “Emotional resilience is reflected in the ability to self-regulate, degree of emotional flexibility, positive outlook and supportive relationships.” (HMI) We cannot avoid experiencing negative emotions. They happen automatically based on various inputs and their assessment by our emotional brain. The key to avoid energy drain and live more frequently in high vibes, is to quickly recover from these negative emotions and return to more positive ones.

As per Susan David in Emotional Agility, to thrive in work and life, we need emotional agility. Emotional agility means “having any number of troubling thoughts or emotions and still managing to act in a way that serves how you most want to live.” Self-regulation in her model includes four steps: showing up with self-compassion (facing your emotions); stepping out (detaching from your emotions to observe them with curiosity); walking your why (intentionally choosing what do to based on this information); and moving on (embracing discomfort and acting out of courage).

Tip# 3 - A third step towards improving your emotional energy is to self-regulate when you experience emotions. Learn to recognize your triggers, notice when your energy shifts in lower frequency emotions, and proactively allow the emotion to pass through you. After releasing the emotion, you can intentionally come back to more positive emotions and more coherent state of being.

Supressed emotion is stuck energy

Emotions are energy in motion. They move from your body to your brain in a few seconds. Sometimes, your emotions can get stuck and continue to live in your body. This can happen when emotions are suppressed or too intense to be processed (like in trauma) or we don’t allow our body to return to a calm state. “When we interfere with our natural ability to calm down, those emotions can get trapped in the body” (Therapy in a Nutshell). Stuck emotions mean stuck energy.

Scientific studies have shown that your fascia tissue reacts to stress by contracting up and can store emotions in the form of memories. This can create tension, pain, and diverse health issues over time. Stuck energy prevents energy from flowing easily in your body and thus, it impacts your overall sense of well-being and the energy you can mobilize to do what you want to do. Many eastern traditions acknowledge energy blocks and have practices to release them and allow for your vital energy to flow easily and improve your health.

Tip #4 - One final tip on mastering your emotional energy is to work on releasing energy blocks in our body. What emotions are you holding in your body and not letting go of? What chronic pain are your dealing with that may be caused by stuck emotions? Seek support as needed to process these out of your body.

My top 10 practices to raise your energy frequency

When it comes to caring for your emotional energy, I think there are three things you need to pay attention to:

- Your inputs: all emotions are triggered by sensory inputs, external and internal, including your own thoughts. Pay attention to how different thoughts, activities, people, and places make you feel and aim for your “inputs” to be as high vibes or uplifting as you can to help raise your vibration.

- Your state of being: when you are in a coherent state, inputs are better assessed and are less likely to bring you into negative emotional state or at least, negative emotions will pass through your body more quickly. Your state of being also serve as the reference point against which your nervous system assesses inputs. Develop practices to make your average resonating level higher.

- Your ability to self-regulate: The more you practice, the better you will be at getting unhooked from triggered emotions, creating a gap to assess them, and acting intentionally in alignment with your values and what matters to you.

There are many habits you can adopt to help you with these 3 aspects of emotional health. Here are my top 10 practices you can experiment with.

1. Practice responding to your emotions in 3 movements

- Bring awareness to your body: Emotions live in your body. Stop and pay attention to your feelings. Face them. Feel both pain and joy. When you bring awareness to your body, you attenuate the experience of threat or fight-or-flight response. You create a gap between the triggered emotion and the interpretation (feelings and thoughts).

- Observe with curiosity: Be curious and observe your emotions with self-compassion. In the space between your emotion and your action, listen to the story you are making about it. Stay open and suspend judgment. The key is to move from automatic to intentional mode, so you’re capable of making a conscious decision about how to respond.

- Stay with, let go and let come: Stay with your emotions long enough to hear what your emotions are telling you. What do you need now? What do you need to let go of and what are you called to do in the moment? This is your choice point. Take responsibility for your actions rather than fall into the victim role or follow automatic programming. As needed, reframe your story by using different perspectives.

2. Meditate daily

This will help you develop your ability to create a gap between triggered emotions and thoughts, feelings and actions. It will help you become more mindful in the moment.

3. Clarify your values

This will provide your with a clear compass and the ability to make conscious choices based on your values. It is much easier to make decisions when you know what you value and what matters to you. It also gives you the courage to act when you are face with choice points. Decisions without compass is taxing on your energy!

4. Connect to your heart

By bringing awareness to your heart and inviting feelings of love, joy and gratitude, you can bring coherence between your heart and brain which will make you feel more emotionally balance and improve your ability to think clearly and creatively.

5. Slow down your exhale

Deep breathing with long slow exhale is a powerful way to decrease your physiological arousal and return to a calm state. Using different breathing patterns is a powerful way to self-regulate your state of mind and mood by acting directly on your autonomic nervous system and heart coherence (measured by HRV).

6. Journal

Adopting a journaling practice will help you see more clearly, gain perspective, let your inner voice speak, and clarify your values and what matters to you. It can also help you raise your awareness of your triggers and figure out what to do about them.

7. Establish healthy boundaries

This is essential to control your inputs! Start by avoiding emotionally draining thoughts, activities, habits, places and people. If you can’t reduce exposure, allow for proper recovery and regeneration. Follow what elevates you, give you a sense of expansion. Remember that what is familiar may not be the healthiest.

8. Shake it off

Emotions are energy in motion: move your body to release the energy built up due to stress or intense emotions. The Nagoski sisters encourage us to “complete the stress cycle” with the top strategy being physical activity.

9. Mind what you eat and care for your gut

Your gut health impacts your heart coherence and brain health. If your gut bacteria are disrupted, they will send you unhappy signals and you will feel low. Your gut has a mind on its own! Chronic inflammation is also linked to depression and anxiety. So, to feel good, focus on eating natural, nutritious food that will make your gut bacteria happy and reduce inflammation.

10. Connect with others and with nature

Social connection is essential to generate serotonin and oxytocin, two hormones that help you feel safe, content, and connected. Nature also plays the same role. Spend time connecting to nature everyday and invest in building and maintaining trusting relationships.

Emotions are central to your experience of life. They are messengers between your body receiving inputs from both internal and external environments and your brain, interpreting these inputs. Positive emotions support your decision-making, creativity, health and performance. Negative ones drain your energy, maintain you in a state of fear and worry, and can make you sick. Understanding emotional energy is not easy and I don’t pretend I fully grasp the subject. The intent of this post was to help you understand why emotional health is key to mastering your energy and improving your well-being. The practical tips provided are meant to help you become more aware of your emotions, listen to them, and self-regulate your response to feel empowered rather than drained and unconsciously directed by events and your triggers. Connect to your body and your emotions and adopt habits that help you process their energy and return to a calm and positive state of being. Spending more time in higher vibration will help you experience expansive energy and a more joyful, fulfilling and creative life.